shohei otani

Shohei Otani is a Bitch

Well, turns out that Shohei Otani is a bitch. Who knew? After pretty much coming out and saying that he wants to be a star, he wants to make money and he wants to both pitch and hit, he is now refusing to sign with the Yankees which is the only franchise that could truly grant him all of his wishes. Cute.

Add Otani to the list of players who are cowards and are afraid of New York. Cliff Lee, David Price, Troy Tulowitzki. The list goes on. Otani thinks he’s god’s gift to baseball but will probably end up playing for the San Diego Padres and you won’t hear his name again after you read this article.

How many of these Japanese ‘stars’ actually pan out in the Majors? Less than 1%. Ichiro is the best hitter ever[1. Pete Rose can kick rocks]. Hideki Matsui was able to continue to be Godzilla when he touched the mainland. But even Masahiro Tanaka is way less successful in the majors than he was in Japan.

I can’t wait until Otani is batting .220 and has an ERA higher than Tyler Clippard. He’s going to be out of the majors playing on Kaz Matsui’s softball team by the end of 2018 and the Yankees are going to win the World Series next season. What a time to be alive.

Is it too early to burn my framed Shohei Otani Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters jersey that I have hanging on my mantle?




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Otani is a pussy. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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