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Shohei Ohtani Joins The Growing List of Pitchers Faking Injuries To Avoid Playing Against The New York Yankees

What Happened?



Is Shohei Ohtani Ducking The Yankees?

A few weeks ago, David Price was set to start against the New York Yankees in the Brox and alllll of a sudden his hands went numb and the Red Sox had to send Price back to Boston. They would later diagnose him with ‘carpel tunnel syndrome’ but it seemed more like ‘I don’t want to watch Gary Sanchez launch more shitty slider into the Hudson River syndrome’.

The New York Yankees have scored 42 runs in their last 5 games ad this weekend they are heading to Anaheim to keep the destruction of baseballs going. This season, the Yankees are 1st in runs scored, home runs and slugging percentage. Mad decent.

Nowwwww all of a sudden the Anaheim Angels are watching the Yankees put up 10 spots against the Texas Rangers every night and they’re shutting down Ohtani because he’s magically ‘too tired’. Hm. Interesting timing.

Ohtani last pitched on May 20th and wasn’t going to pitch again on the 27th. My man can’t pitch on 7 days rest? Sure yes, he was a designated hitter the last two nights but again, it’s Thursday. Let him rest the next 3 days and then pitch Sunday. There is no excuse.

Opposing pitchers are literally afraid of the Yankees right now. David Price’s body went numb just thinking about stepping onto that mound to face Didi Gregorius and now the Angels aren’t even letting Ohtani out of the dugout for the series.

Also reaaaaaaal quick since I have your attention, for everyone who was super hyped to see Masahiro Tanaka pitch against Shohei Ohtani on Sunday, ask yourself why? Why would that be sooo cool to see them against each other? Because they’re Japanese?

Imagine if a black player went to go pitch in Japan and then 4 years later, another black pitcher came over and the Japanese media was like ‘omg the two black guys here are pitching against each other. How cool is this? They have a 6 year age difference and don’t appear to really have any sort of real relationship with one another but look at their skin tone. This is sooo cool’.

Just ya know, think about things. Also Shohei Ohtani is a pussy.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Shohei Ohtani is afraid of the New York Yankees. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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