This summer’s hottest dating news was the world finding out that Drake and Serena Williams were making out of all over the place. It’s what we’d all been waiting for. The two most powerful woman in the world were hooking up. Now there is huge news that’ll shatter and change the world forever. Serena is dating some random ass nerd now.
It’s a match! Serena Williams is dating Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian. “They met at a lunch,” a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “It’s new.”
Although Williams, 34, was recently linked to Drake, a second source says it was simply a “flirty friendship.” Now, the tennis pro is making love part of her routine, bringing her new guy, 32, to her workout at the Los Angeles School of Gymnastics on Saturday, Oct. 24. Says an onlooker, “He called her babe and they held hands.”
Apparently Serena Williams has a specific type. Lame ass dweebs. She fell for Drake when he was the wack Canadian jew who sang on rap tracks. Then all of a sudden Drake destroys Meek Mill in a rap battle and ends his career. Then he gets jacked for no reason. He releases the most popular song of the year and Serena goes running into some other nerds arms.
She’s a power hungry sloot who couldn’t handle the new and improved Aubrey. The only upside to this is that now Drake is going to make a new fire song about this relationship now working out. He’s like the male version of Taylor Swift when it comes to break up songs. He’s the Canadian Adele. Hotling Bling Part 2, coming soon.
Sidenote: FUCK Reddit. They blocked Deadseriousness for no reason and refuse to unblock me. Talk to you local moderator and get Deadseriousness unbanned from Reddit.
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