Rueben Randle Jumps Ship and Signs With the Philadelphia Eagles

Benedict fucking Arnold. I’m hurt. I’ve been betrayed. The New York Giants gave Rueben Randle life and he returns the favor by stabbing the team in the back. After all of the meals that Eli Manning put on your table, how dare you join the Eagles.

Is Rueben Randle a big Sam Bradford fan? Bad news, Rueben Randle is a traitor. Good news, Sam Bradford is his new quarterback so you’ll never see his name in the boxscore or hear his name in highlights. You may see him rack up a record amount of tackles after cornerbacks intercept Bradford on his own 20-yard line.  



Sidenote: I have no idea whether his named is ‘Rueben’ or ‘Reuben’. I hate him regardless.  

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Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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