Rudy Gobert is a Dumb Asshole Who Stole The NBA Season From Us

The NBA has suspended the 2019-20 season because Utah Jazz center, Rudy Gobert, decided to mock coronavirus hysteria by touching every microphone at a press conference only to inadvertently catch the disease and further accelerate the hysteria he was initially dismissing.

Hahahaha what a prankster!


It’s all fun and games until you’re the COVID-19 vector that singlehandedly shut down an entire organization for a joke that received a laugh from exactly zero (0) people. This corny loser cost us the end of the NBA season.

Yes, this illness is serious and blah blah. I obviously hope he recovers and everyone around him is safe but if there is one person who deserves Coronavirus it’s Rudy Gobert and although I in no way want him to lose his life over this, I am without a doubt hoping this flu kicks his ass.

You’re a 27-year old grown ass man and you’re trolling the Center for Disease Control? Or the thousands upon thousands of people who have contracted the illness? Or Tom Hanks? Again, I’m so glad Gobert caught this shit.

Not only has this man been walking around with the plague but he’s been touching everything and everyone.

Really Gobert? Not only are you carrying this virus but now suddenly you want to be the tough guy and slam into OG Anunoby for no reason? This is the time you’d like to get into a skirmish that forces both teams to surround you and hold you back from a fight? This is some depraved “if I’m going down, everyone’s going down with me” shit.

I haven’t respect Gobert since he cried a couple years back after finding out he didn’t make the All-Star team.

And this isn’t some toxic masculinity thing where men aren’t allowed to cry. I cry after every movie I watch. Whether it’s The Notebook or Anchorman, I’m in tears but this was just exhibit A of this man’s lack of self-awareness.

How do you witness what Nikola Jokic does on a nightly basis and think you’re anywhere near as good as he is? Motherfucker had 6 points and 4 rebounds in 32 minutes against the Toronto Raptors two days ago. Get French Javale McGee OUT of here.

I hope all the people he infected get well far sooner than he does.

This could be the last time we ever see Vince Carter play basketball and it was in a weird overtime loss to the Knicks moments after it was announced the season would be put on hiatus. What an awful farewell to a great player.

LeBron James is closer to 40 than 20 and although I was in no way rooting for the Lakers to win the championship, he might’ve have been robbed of the opportunity to even try. You don’t get the miles of this season back.

BOOOO Rudy Gobert for the remainder of time. Kick his corny ass out of the league.





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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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