roy moore

Roy Moore Can Officially Return To His Life of Trying To Bang Little Girls At The Mall

Well, the Roy Moore saga has finally come to a close. He may now ride off into that Alabama sunset and get back to doing what he does best: prey on little girls. Imagine if he won the Senate position. Moore would have no time to ask girls out to their senior prom. Now, he is without a doubt buying a tux for the event this summer.

Unfortunately, Moore can’t go to his favorite mall because he was banned in the 80’s for trying to hump every teenage girl after their parents dropped them off. Shout out to Roy for going so hard that Paul Blart has to keep an eye out for him.

I assume as I write this, Moore is flipping through last year’s yearbook at the sophomore class to see which juniors need a ride to their after-school jobs.

But again, do not feel bad for Roy Moore losing to Doug Jones, barely. He is back on the Alabama streets waiting in the high school parking lot in a denim jacket and whistling at teenage girls and saying that he can beat their boyfriends in an arm wrestling match. He’s in his natural element.

Pray for Alabama teens.

 

 

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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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