Blazers in 4

The Portland Trailers are 4-8 on the season right now. They are the 13th seed in the West. Earlier this season, Portland lost to the Golden State Warriors who didn’t have Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green.

The Blazers have exactly one more win than the New York Knicks, a team that everyone in the national media thinks is the biggest joke in the history of history. The Blazers have one more win than them.

And now I can say with complete confidence that after the signing of Carmelo Anthony, the Portland Trailblazers are winning the 2019-20 NBA Title. Easily.

The biggest problem with Portland is that their frontcourt has been devoured by injuries. Pau Gasol, Jusuf Nurkic and Zach Collins are all wearing suits on the sidelines while Hassan Whiteside carries the load.

It’s wild that Pau Gasol is even on this roster but that’s a conversation for another day.

Carmelo had some of the best seasons of his career playing power forward for the Knicks so just slide him at the 4 to play alongside Damian Lillard and CJ McCollum. Blazers in 4.

AND Mario Hezonja playing the 3???

How did the NBA allow Portland to put such a stacked team together??

I won’t pretend to be shocked that Carmelo Anthony didn’t start this season on a team. He’s 35 years old. Let’s just start with that. That’s old as shit.

In Houston he shot 40% from the field and 32% from the 3-point line. The team had a -9.9 net rating with Melo on the floor.

He missed too many shots and was a hole in their defense. He was also 35. You can’t be all three of those things and stay in the NBA.

Now, the counter is that Melo only played 10 games which is an awful sample size and Houston didn’t really give him a real opportunity to prove himself.

That last time we saw Carmelo play meaningful basketball was in 2018 when he was on the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Utah Jazz devoured him on defense every single possession. Carmelo the Gawd had a -13.2 net rating as Joe Ingles ran his ass off the floor in a first round teabagging.

Shout out to Playoff P.

The biggest problem with Melo’s game wasn’t that he was awful at defense. He was always awful on defense. You don’t acquire Carmelo and expect him to slap the floor and stop Giannis from dropping 40.

In New York, his role was to get buckets. Stand 18 feet from the basket. Jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step, jab step chuck up a contested long 2-pointer with 1 second left on the shot clock, repeat.

But in OKC and Houston, they wanted to isolate one part of his game: catch and shoot.

In Oklahoma City, Carmelo made 38.9% of his catch and shoot jumpers. In Houston, just 34% of his catch and shoot jumpers. And that’s not from the 3-point line. That’s overall from the field. Have I mentioned that he’s 35?

But that was then and this is now. He’s been out of the league. He’s been humbled. He’s been sipping wine on yachts with beautiful women that are not his wife.

He’s ready.

I cannot wait for the first transition 3 he splashes before celebrating with the two fingers to the dome only to immediately get beat back door by PJ Tucker on the other side of the floor before missing his next 4 three’s and being meme’d on Twitter.

Blazers in 4.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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