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Patrick Corbin is a Bitch

What Happened?

The Washington Nationals are adding another high-caliber pitcher to their rotation, reportedly agreeing to terms on a six-year deal with free agent Patrick Corbin on Tuesday.

The deal, pending a physical, reportedly is for $140 million — significantly higher than the deal Yu Darvish signed with the Chicago Cubs last year. The Washington Post was the first to report that Corbin and the Nats had agreed to terms.



Patrick Corbin has signed a 6-year $140 million deal with the Washington Nationals after flirting with the New York Yankees all winter long, that little slut signed elsewhere. The 29-year old is coming off an All-Star season for the Diamondbacks with an 11-7 win-loss record and a 3.15 ERA. Those are great numbers for someone who will be the No. 3 pitcher behind Stephen Strasburg and Max Scherzer.

The Yankees offered Corbin 5 years and were budging from that. It’s almost as if they’ve learned their lesson after signing Jacoby Ellsbury to a lifetime contract. When nuclear bombs hit, only two things will remain: cockroaches and Jacoby Ellsbury.

I shouldn’t be surprised that Patrick Corbin is a bitch and a coward. This literally happens every year. The top pitching free agents are always afraid to come pitch in New York because they can’t handle the pressure.

David Price was afraid. Cliff Lee was afraid. Zach Greinke refuses to waive his no-trade clause to move to New York. I get it. It’s a tough city. I have a wallet full of metro cards with no money on them and what you call ‘dollar pizza’ I call ‘pizza’. It’s probably easier staying in Arizona or wherever.

So it’s confirmed. Patrick Corbin is a bitch. Thank u, next.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Patrick Corbin is a coward. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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