Party’s Over, Jeff Teague Is Here

Trae Young is one of the most exciting young players in the league and there is a new wild highlight from him nutmegging an idiot defender or shooting from the logo nightly. He is a one-man show.

A month ago it was reported that he got into a heated exchange with management after a brutal loss and demanded more help on the court. You mean to tell me that Scam Reddish shooting 26% from the 3-point line isn’t getting the job done? Whatever.

Trae does need help. He’s third in the NBA in scoring with 29.1 points per game behind only Giannis and Harden, two MVP candidates. Trae is also 4th in assists with 8.3 a night which is nuts considering he’s passing the ball to *puts on tiny reading glasses* Alex Len(?)

The highest paid player on this team is Chandler Parsons who has played only 66 games in the last three seasons. Awesome.

Get this man some help.

Oh god, not this type of help.

Hm, how do I begin to describe the frustration of watching Jeff Teague play basketball? I guess I’ll try with stats or whatever.

Jeff Teague has taken more shots after 7+ dribbles than Kemba Walker, Ja Morant and Donovan Mitchell. That means he’s standing at the top of the key dribbling the hell out of the ball before chucking up a shot.

He has a 46.7 effective field goal percentage on those play. For comparison sake, Trae Young is 4th in the league in taking shots after 7+ dribbles but his effective field goal percentage is 52.9%.

So I’m sure Trae will love sitting there watching Teague pound the ball for the entire shot clock before bricking a shot of the backboard knowing damn well he would’ve made the shot Teague just airballed.

Look at Karl-Anthony Towns straight up screaming at Teague to pass him the ball as Teague ignores him and slams a layup off the backboard, probably. Trae Young is going to throw fits.

So all of the fun clips on Twitter you’ve seen of Trae Young embarrassing defenders are over. Jeff Teague has entered the chat and he’s got an Android phone.





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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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