Okay, Nazis Did ONE Thing Right

They’re now shooting 0.000001% from the field

The family that owns well-known consumer brands like Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Keurig Dr. Pepper and Panera Bread say their Nazi ancestors used slave labor during World War II.

The Reimann family, which owns the controlling stake in JAB Holdings and is reportedly one of the richest families in Germany, will donate €10 million, or $11 million, to a yet-undisclosed charity after a three-year investigation that it commissioned discovered details of their ancestors’ behavior.

A family spokesperson said Albert Reimann Sr., who died in 1954, and Albert Reimann Jr., who died in 1984, used Russian civilian prisoners and French prisoners of war as forced labor in their factories during the war, and that they were anti-Semites and avowed supporters of Adolf Hitler. (CNN)

This isn’t about to be pro-Nazi propoganda. Really not looking for those types of readers. Although it’s safe to assume that Steve Bannon is an avid subscriber. Never misses an article with ‘Trump’ in the title.

I don’t, in any way, want to make light of the atrocities of the Holocaust. I’m a big ‘fuck Hitler’ guy. It’s the first words out of my mouth every morning. Fuck Nazis. Second words.

But have you had a Krispy Kreme glazed donuts before? Mannnn. If we can take ONE positive from the darkest times in modern history it’s that those pieces of shit could BAKE.

Please don’t tell me we have to boycott or ‘cancel’ Krispy Kreme’. I can’t go back to crunching on day-old Dunkin donuts. You can see the dust collecting on those things. Life is hard. KK is all I have. Wow, wait. I guess those initials make sense now.

Before we do anything irrational, let’s weigh the pros and cons of Krispy Kreme:

1. delicious donuts
2. No, seriously…the donuts are fantastic
3. Eat donuts

1. Nazis, though
2. No, seriously…Nazi’s are evil
3. Punch Nazis

Okay, so it appears to be a draw. Tie goes to ‘FUUUUCK NAZIS’. Damn it. It was all good just a week ago…..

Sidenote: there are still people alive from the Holocaust. You can’t call them your ‘ancestors’. Nice try attempting to distance yourself from your Nazi grandparents but no, they were alive during Wilt Chamberlain’s rookie year. Nah, b. You’re selling Nazi donuts.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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