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Basically Every Cop in the Oakland Police Department Banged an Underage Prostitute

 

Oakland Police Chief Sean Whent resigned Thursday after a sex scandal that began in his department spread to four other cities, with least 24 officers revealed to have slept with the same prostitute – some of them when she was just 16.

The woman, who goes by the name of ‘Celeste Guap’, said that she slept with three of the two dozen officers when she was 17. She turned 18 last August.

The investigation into the officers’ relationship began in September 2015, after married Officer Brendan O’Brien, who had been having an affair with Guap since she was 17, killed himself and named her and several officers in his suicide note.

Since then, two-dozen officers have been revealed to have slept with Guap, some of whom provided her with confidential information.

‘I think cops are fine. They’re cute and all, but it’s like one less officer that’s gonna arrest me,’ she told the East Bay Express.

Under the screen name ‘Superman,’ one officer wrote: ‘Want some advice? Stay off E14 from Fruitvale to 42(nd Avenue) tonight. There’s a UC (an undercover) operation.’ 

She replied: ‘Thank u daddy I appreciate it (I don’t) wanna go to jail lol.’ 

(Daily Mail)

So I’ve alluded to the legend of the magic vagina before but here is a CLASSIC case of magic vag. A vagina so perfect that you’re willing to cheat on your wife. You’re willing to lose your career. You’re willing to go to jail. You kill yourself afterwards because your life has peaked. Celeste Guap has that magic vag.

celeste guap 1

Never understood the desire to hump a chick after all of your friends have already all had a turn. I won’t even make eye contact with a girl if I know she’s had sex with my friend. Don’t introduce me to your girlfriend, I won’t acknowledge her.

Also, how much does it suck for those first guys who banged this sloot before she was of legal age? Yikes. But that’s the thing about the magic vag, it turns men into monsters.

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re Celeste Guap. I mean, I’m not a cop but still.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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