North Korea’s people have sentenced Donald Trump to death, according to an editorial in its state newspaper.
The article says that the President offended the country when he denounced its “cruel dictatorship” during his tour around Asia. And for that he should be killed, the article suggested.
“The worst crime for which he can never be pardoned is that he dared [to] malignantly hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership,” the ruling party newspaper Rodong Sinmun wrote.
I don’t think I’ve ever been sentenced to death but who knows? I haven’t checked my emails in a while. But I feel like it’s not great news when an entire country decides it’s time for you to be put to sleep. This is like Bart Simpson vs. Australia except ya know, with weapons of mass destruction and such.
Do you think America can finish Donald Trump’s term before he blows up North Korea or vice versa? There’s no way he sees this headline and doesn’t immediately rush to memorize the nuclear launch codes. We have about 24 hours until every country deploys all of their nukes and we live in a Mad Max/Snowpiercer-esque post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Also, I’m pretty sure North Korea doesn’t have free press so that newspaper article was definitely just a handwritten note by Kim Jong Un that was xeroxed and slid underneath everyone’s front door. That actually reminds me, there’s no way that North Korea has the technology to deploy nuclear weapons. There’s also no way they really have a Xerox machine over there either. I was being generous.
Pray For Donald Trump.