No One Gives a Shit Where Spencer Dinwiddie Signs

Brooklyn Nets BACK UP point guard, Spencer Dinwiddie, is attempting to scam NBA Twitter out of their money in the midst of the biggest economic crisis in American history and he has created a GoFundMe looking for $24,632,600 and in exchange, he will sign for a minimum contract wherever the fans decide.


Here is more of Spencer explaining his cute little after school project:

“I’m simply creating this GoFundMe as my commitment to my previous tweets. As of now 2625.8 BTC is roughly equivalent to $24,632,630 USD. If we hit the target then I will allow the fan base to determine my next team decision and sign a one year contract at that destination. If we do not hit the target goal then I will be donating 100% of this campaign to charity. Fan engagement comes in all shapes and sizes, lets have fun folks!”

So to recap once more, The Nets 8th man wants us to help him purchase $24 million worth of bitcoin and our reward for helping him is that he’ll sign with our favorite team. And how will he even determine which team that is? Is it based on who ‘donates’ the most? Like if I give 150K and I live in Utah then you’ll come to Salt Lake? Why am I writing about this? This is so dumb.

And by the way, you don’t need to add ‘I hope no owner/teams participate’. I promise you, you do not need to worry about that. Mark Cuban isn’t rushing to your GoFundMe page to give you bitcoin so that you can come rebound for Seth Curry in practice.

I could maaaaybe understand this if all of the money was going to charity but nope. It’s going to Spencer’s bitcoin collection. We’re entering a Great Depression and this millionaire wants us to pay him.

I’d also maybe understand if this was someone like Kevin Durant letting fans decide where he signs. Fans would be fighting to the death in the streets for a chance to bring Giannis to their city.

Spencer Dinwiddie is a backup point guard who’s averaged 16 points a game over his career. When everyone in Brooklyn is healthy, he’s the 4th scoring option. No one gives a shit where he plays next.

Plus, he’s not even a free agent until after the 2020-21 season. We don’t even know if/when they’re going to restart this season and Spencer Dinwiddie is like ‘I know everyone is getting laid off at historic rates and I currently make $11 million a year but hey, just pull out that credit card and read that CVV code for me and maybe I’ll be a Denver Nugget or whatever’.

Get Spencer Dinwiddie OUUUUT of here. Keep this nonsense in your ‘Real Eyes Realize Real Lies’ group chat with Kyrie Irving and Andrew Yang and keep this shit off the timeline.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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