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No One Gives A Fuck What You Think About Dwyane Wade’s Daughter

Dwyane Wade’s daughter is in the news because weirdos cannot stop talking about her in order to prove their own masculinity.

About a week ago, Dwyane Wade announced that his 12-year old had decided to transition into a woman and full disclosure, I was annoyed.

I wasn’t bothered by Zaya’s decision to become a woman or because of some hatred of the trans community. I was annoyed that this man Dwyane Wade cannot escape my line of vision. As a Knicks fan, I am conditioned to hate anyone wearing Miami Heat colors.

His final season farewell tour felt like it lasted 7 years as every night the Internet stroked him for swapping jerseys with literally every player in the NBA except for Emmanuel Mudiay.  We got it. Wade was good at basketball. So was Penny Hardaway and the world didn’t stop when he retired.

I thought his retirement was finally the end of Wade being in my life but nope, I can’t watch TV without being waterboarded with a commercial he’s in. Did you think we’d all forget what Gatorade is if we didn’t see Wade and Gabrielle Union fake hanging out to remind us ‘oh yea, Gatorade is good’. I promise you I hadn’t forgotten.

And now he is like, the new face of TNT broadcasts and scammed Aaron Gordon out of a Slam Dunk Contest W to help his former Heat teammate win. Again, Wade has been trending all week and I will never rid myself of his presence.

However, some people heard the news of Dwyane Wade’s daughter and genuinely felt a type of way about it. So much so that they had to publicly mention their qualms with a situation that doesn’t affect them in any wat.

Boosie Badazz—a grown man who calls himself Badazz with TWO Z’s—weighed in by screaming into the front facing camera on his iPhone about the child’s dick.


Imagine hearing that a 12-year old is transitioning into a woman and not only thinking about her dick but needing to go out of your way to share your concerns with the world on Instagram.

The bold arrogant ignorance to post a video trying to break through to Dwyane Wade and make him set his daughter straight because you fear that one day she might fall in love with a woman and won’t have a penis for her is the reason why I really hope Kim Jong Un is only playing dumb and he actually has nukes ready to end our miserably pointless existences.

There are so many wildly stupid things Boosie said that I may be too pissed to type. I’m punching the keyboard with my fist.

First, this isn’t some flakey kid who woke up one morning like ‘actually, I think I’m going to be a girl. That would be chill for awhile’.

Much like gay people, trans people are born that way and instead of forcing Zaya into the traditional male roles that she’s been rejecting from day one, we should be applauding Wade for allowing his daughter to fully actualize her own life as opposed to suffering through an empty repressed life attempting to accommodate those surrounding her while ignoring her own needs, wants and desires.

Second, you misinformed neanderthals, only 4-13% of trans people actually get genital surgery.

You don’t need to have a vagina to be a woman. You don’t announce you’re transiting along with a post-it note of your genital reassignment surgery date written on it for the clout. You just keep your dick. It’s not a big deal.

So it’s strange as fuck to stress out over ‘genital mutilation’ when 1.) if someone were to opt into that procedure, it would be fully voluntary and not some surgeon taking their balls at night like the Tooth Fairy. 2.) Zaya is 12. What are we doing? Why are we talking about Dwyane Wade’s daughter and her genitals at all?

I am far more worried about the number of people who are clocking this little girl’s crotch than I am about Wade’s parenting.

Even my favorite rapper on Earth, Young Thug, jumped off the top rope with an idiotic Tweet that is now deleted.

dwyane wade's daughter

It’s insane that a rapper like Young Thug who has bars shitting on the president lowkey has the same exact antiquated archaic values as Mike Pence. Naturally this led to the most unbearable fake Hotep night on Twitter with everyone revealing how fragile their masculinity by concern-trolling an issue they don’t actually care about.

Let’s make one thing clear: this is not bad parenting.

No child is being harmed. In fact, no one planet Earth is being affected by Zaya’s decision except for the Wade family in which we are not apart of so let’s all keep our noisy misinformed nonsense to ourselves.

I promise you when I say this: NO ONE gives a fuck what you think about Dwyane Wade’s daughter.


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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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