Nic Cage To Star in Movie About Exotic Animals on a Boat (Totally Not a Snakes on a Plane Rip Off)

As he continues his endeavour to squeeze as many movies into the next few years as he can (while paying off those pesky tax bills), Nicolas Cage is adding another action thriller to the list. He’ll star in Primal.

Longtime stunt co-ordinator and second unit director Nick Powell is stepping up to make his first movie, written by Richard Leder. The film will see Cage as Frank Walsh, a legendary big game tracker who works to capture exotic creatures for zoos. He’s sailing on a Greek shipping freighter with his his latest haul of animals, including a rare white jaguar from the Amazon. Trouble strikes when Richard Loffler, a political assassin secretly being extradited back to the US on the ship, escapes his guards and releases the animals. You can pretty much guess what happens from there: Frank will have to find a way to save the crew from the rampant creatures and also deal with the lunatic on the loose.


Nic Cage is one of those celebrities that you always get excited to see out of the house and doing things because you fear if you don’t see him for a while, he probably swallowed that cyanide pill or something.

You get so excited to see him out and about that you don’t even mind that he’s starring in what sounds like a movie that was so bad that even the Sci Fi network passed on it. Sure, this sounds like the original script of Evan Almighty before a studio decided to turn it into a Bruce Almighty sequel but I’m all in.

To the untrained eye, this looks like a complete rip off of Snakes on a Plane but there’s actually a HUGE difference: Nic Cage. Everything he touches turns to gold. Or at the very least, gold plated and that’s pretty chill too.

I’ll see you all at the Primal premiere.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re hyped for some new Nic Cage action. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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