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NFL POWER RANKINGS HAVE ARRIVED, YOU COWARDS. I combed through all the game film and by that I mean I watched 7-second clips on Twitter of Josh Allen throwing passes at wide receiver’s feet.

This took me a month to write and I’m barely finishing this before the season actually starts so plz enjoy and share with all of your friends and family and ignore the typos. I’ll proofread when I’m dead. (Alexa, kill me).


Here are your first NFL Power Rankings of the 2018 season:



32. Buffalo Bills

josh allen

The Buffalo Bills are the worst must-watch team in NFL history as they have two quarterbacks on their roster who exclusively throw the ball into the defender’s hands. It’s unbelievable how they’ve managed to have to QBs competing for the job that have no idea how to throw a football.

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I’ve been shitting on Josh Allen from the moment some asshole at ESPN decided that because he’s a 6’5 white that somehow qualifies him to be the best prospect coming out of the draft even though he never completed more than 60% of his throws and has the accuracy of drunk me with a dart in my hand. (I’m bad at darts sober.)


Written by Deadseriousness

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