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The New York Yankees Are Cursed

The New York Yankees have played a grand total of zero (0) games this season and already have four superstars expected to miss opening day due to various injuries. Aaron Hicks is recovering from Tommy John Surgery. James Paxton has a cyst in his spine. Aaron Judge has a bum shoulder.

And now Luis Severino has forearm soreness with ‘loose bodies’ in his elbow and will miss the entire 2020 season recovering from Tommy John Surgery.

In 2017, Severino finished 3rd in Cy Young voting in his first full season as a starter. The following year when he was the established Ace of the staff, he finished 9th in Cy Young voting.

He had some of the best stuff in the league with his slider recording higher than Clayton Kershaw, Jacob deGrom and Chris Sale.

Then he fell off a cliff.

Including the playoffs, Severino only pitched 16 innings last season and now won’t be back until mid 2021.

Fucking wonderful.

Do you guys want a peek behind the curtain in the Deadseriousness writing process here? I started writing this article last week on the 20th. I’m finishing it at 4am on the 27th. I spent all day screaming into a pillow.

Oh, fuck off.

In 2018, Giancarlo Stanton led the Yankees with 38 bombs. That feels like it happened back when baseball was black and white (and mostly white if you know what I mean). Andddd then as soon as the playoffs began that season, he suffered a quad injury in Game 1 of the ALCS, came back in Game 5 to go hitless only to not play again because his quad hurt.

In 2019, this motherfucker played in only 18 games. Left biceps strain. Left calf strain. Right knee sprain. And now another calf strain.

I was never the guy who was mad at Jacoby Ellsbury for continually injuring himself and re-injuring himself during his rehab. It got to the point where the jokes weren’t worth it and I genuinely felt bad that this man was borderline crippled.

Giancarlo Stanton is a 30-year who spent the offseason posting videos of himself bench pressing models and shit. Physically, he is built like a Greek god. Soooo like, when are we allowed to call him a bitch?

Again, I don’t like being cruel when players are injured. It’s not their fault. But Cal Ripken played 162 games every day for his entire career. Do you think he never woke up some mornings like ‘damn, my calf hurts’? Ripken played through it.

Fucking ice your calf and go DH. What is happening out here?

I know the season is only beginning and there’s no need to force these players onto the field and destroy their bodies. It’s a long ass season and blowing up Aaron Judge’s shoulder in February is problematic.

At what point do we look at this ‘smart’ front office and question why James Paxton and Luis Severino are just finding out that they need surgery now when they had these injuries throughout the offseason?

At what point do we look at Giancarlo Stanton and Aaron Judge and wonder why these giants guys need to take months off with muscle “strains” in a completely non-contact sport?

The New York Yankees are cursed. The new stadium was built on an Indian burial ground.

OR, what’s more likely is that there’s a brand new training staff that didn’t have an opportunity to assess these players until they arrived for training camp this year. Brian Cashman acquired talented players but these players all happened to have a low threshold for pain and aren’t capable of playing through pain as much as other stars amongst the league can.

And in a way, that’s the curse.

This organization has done everything correctly for the last five years leading up to this massive Gerrit Cole signing and a guaranteed 2020 World Series appearance. No corners were cut. They built from within the farm system. They didn’t outspend the rest of the league like they did to win in 2009.

And none of it matters because Gary Sanchez is going to suffer his perennial groin pull and Luke Voit is going to suffer a back injury lifting up some chick from Tinder on his shoulders at Coachella. Domingo German is going to do more disgusting crimes.

No matter how well you plan for success, failure will always be the more probable outcome because life is hard and meaningless and all we can do is enjoy the little things that spark joy like Gleyber Torres hitting .900 against the Orioles or Miguel Andujar’s helicopter swing as he swats a baseball to the wall for an inevitable double.

I’m going to hate this season but I’m going to love every second of hating it.












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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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