New York Jets Drafted the Hottest Quarterback on the Board

With the 51st pick in the 2016 NFL Draft, the New York Jets selected Christian Hackenberg and everyone is pissed. The Jets have yet to strike a deal with Ryan Fitzpatrick which could very well mean that Hackenberg will be named the starting quarterback by lunch time.

Many people think Hackenberg isn’t ready to be an NFL starter. They are 1000% right. But he’s got one trump card that no other quarterback on the roster possesses, an amazingly symmetrical face.

For comparison’s sake, let’s look at the current starting quarterback, Geno Smith.

geno smith


Yikes. See, that’s a face that will lose you a lot of games. I mean, look at the guy who’s been to the most Super Bowls. Tom Brady has the face of a winner. Hackenberg will probably win a ring. That’s how it works. Good things come to pretty people.

It’s a cruel world for the uglies but luckily the Jets used their 2nd round draft pick to get a guy that could’ve waited like, 3 rounds to pick up not because he’s the most talented but because pretty people win.


Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re all in on Christian Hackenberg.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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