chad kelly

New York Giants Need To Sign (And Immediately Start) Chad Kelly

What Happened

Broncos backup quarterback Chad Kelly was booked into the Arapahoe County Jail this morning on charges of first-degree criminal trespassing. Ian Rapoport of NFL Network first reported the arrest.

According to the probable cause affidavit, which you can find an excerpt of below, Englewood PD responded to a trespassing call at 1:16 a.m. local time. The caller said that “an unknown male entered the residence uninvited and sat down on the couch next to her mumbling incoherently.” That male was later identified as Kelly, and he left the house after one of the residents hit him with an aluminum vacuum tube.


Soo apparently Chad Kelly went to Von Miller’s Halloween party and got absolutely splashed and then wandered into a stranger’s home only to be forced out with one of those cartoon-sized vacuum tubes from I Love Lucy.

It’s also being reported that Chad Kelly was being a huge asshole throughout the party which shouldn’t be surprising for a guy whose nickname is ‘Swag Kelly’. That’s the type of guy who butt chugs Coronas at a work party.

Swag. Kelly.

Chad Kelly is a New York kid who went to Ole Miss, the alma mater of Eli Manning, and was the last player drafted in this year’s draft. He’s a playmaker that can find ways to win games.

I should mention, I have no idea if what he did in college can translate to the NFL at all. I don’t know if he’s better than Kyle Lauletta. But here’s something that I do know: Eli Manning has won 4 football games in two years.

He’s 38-years old and has no part in the Giants future. The team needs to bring in some youth and find out if they can ball because whoever starts for the Giants can’t possibly do worse than what Eli is currently doing.

Bring me Swag Kelly.

Buuuut with the Giants recent luck, Chad Kelly will sign on the dotted line with New York and then get 10 years of jail time for breaking into that stranger’s house.


Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Swag Kelly is the next great New York Giants QB. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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