New York Giants Dominate the Dallas Cowboys Because the Cowboys Are Trash

The New York Giants have defeated the Dallas Cowboys 27-20 and that score may make it seem like it was a close game, it was anything but that. It was annihilation. It was obliteration. It was just absolute DOMINATION. The Dallas Cowboys lose and life is good. America is great again. The Cowboys are trash.

After a slow first quarter, the Giants trapped the Cowboys in a lull. It was a move straight out of Kaa’s playbooks from the Jungle Book. Just hypnotized the Cowboys into a deep sleep and then when the Cowboys were groggy, BAM, Giants hit the gas pedal and buried them.


Eli Manning was just doing whatever they want out there. Even Reuben Randle stepped up and teabagged the Dallas Cowboy’s secondary with that vicious one handed catch. Please stop telling me how great the Cowboys defense is with Greg Hardy back from suspension. They are mediocre and I can run for 100 yards against them.

But the real hero of the game is Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie who just bullied Matt Cassel and stuffed that dweeb into a locker with 2 interceptions. Rodgers-Cromartie is opening up a 24 hour convenience store in Matt Cassel’s brain. From now on, every time Matt Cassel closes his eyes he’s going to see Rodgers-Cromartie just sleeping with his wife telling each other like, real intimate stories and shit. Nightmares for the rest of his life.

There is zero doubt in my mind that the New York Giants are going to win the NFC East. The Dallas Cowboys are trash and I will see you all at Metlife (Giants) Stadium for the playoffs. Free Deadseriousness t-shirts to all.


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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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