We’ve traded WR Josh Gordon to the New England Patriots. pic.twitter.com/2eYO4A69jq
— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) September 17, 2018
Full compensation trade update: Patriots send Browns a 2019 fifth-round pick for WR Josh Gordon and get back a 2019 seventh-round pick if he is not active for 10 games, source tells ESPN. Trade was supposed to be for a 6th-round pick, but Patriots don’t have a 6th.
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) September 17, 2018
Josh Gordon has been traded from the Cleveland Browns because he tweaked his hamstring and lied to the Browns about it. He also may have missed a practice or something so Cleveland decided that they’ve had enough even though his Week 1 touchdown prevented the team from going 0-1 like they usually do.
Gordon missed the entire 2015 and 2016 seasons because he failed drug test after drug test after drug test. Cleveland gave Gordon every and all opportunities to stop smoking weed and come back to help them finally win games.
But now that he’s finally decided to turn his life around, the Browns got rid of him for missing a meeting or some shit and gave him away essentially for free to the New England Patriots because the Browns not only want to go winless again this year but they want the Patriots to march back to the Super Bowl.
Josh Goron was an All-Pro wide receiver in 2013 with 87 catches, 1,646 receiving yards and 9 touchdowns. Since that season he has 43 yards and 2 touchdowns. He is one of the most talented receivers in the league but we’ve yet to really see him sober, on the field, and receiving passes from a guy like Tom Brady.
I’m not saying we should all be wishing that Gordon like, drinks and drives or headbutts a table covered in cocaine but like, if we reallyyyy want to see a Super Bowl that doesn’t have Bill Belichick in it, we should at the very least keeping our fingers crossed that Josh Gordon is rolling a blunt right now an hour before a piss test.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if it sucks to say but you hope Josh Gordon is high as fuck right now. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.