NASA Wants To Make It Very Clear That There Are No Child Sex Slaves on Mars

Humans believe a lot of outlandish things. The idea that NASA is sending children to be sex slaves on Mars might be one of the wildest.

On Thursday, a guest on InfoWars claimed that NASA had kidnapped kids and sent them to the red planet to be sex slaves.

“There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are,” Guy Webster, a spokesperson for NASA’s Mars exploration, was forced to tell The Daily Beast. “But there are no humans.”

The insane conspiracy theory was aired on Alex Jones’ “The Alex Jones Show,” which is broadcast on 118 radio stations across the country.

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” said Steele. “So that once they get to Mars, they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”


It’s a pretty outlandish to claim that NASA has child sex slaves on Mars. It’s so random and weird. Almost makes you think that it’s so weird and specific that it may be true. Of course I’m not sitting here and agreeing with anything that comes out of InfoWars but like, I wouldn’t be mad if a third party looked into it.

I mean, Mars is pretty much international waters. It would be the perfect location for child sex slaves. What else is going on over on that planet? I didn’t see The Martian but I think I remember the trailer. He was growing potatoes or some shit. Point is, there’s something sketchy about NASA even responding to this wild claim.

Are there child sex slaves on Mars? Probably not. Just don’t be totally shocked if you find out next month that like, there may be one or two lying around over there.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think there mayyy be child sex slaves on Mars. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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