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Naked Chick Got Lost in the Woods For a Month (Meth Involved)

A student who wandered alone and naked in the wilderness for almost a month may have gotten lost and disorientated after she had taken methamphetamine, police suspect.

Lisa Theris lost 40 pounds after she hobbled around in circles in dense woods just a mile from the American highway where she was eventually found covered in mud and scratches.

(Independent)

 

This is my biggest fear in the world. I write jokes on the Internet. I am the least prepared to wake up in the middle of the woods and survive for a month. There isn’t enough meth in the world to keep me alive for that long. One night in the woods and I’m looking for a noose.

Shout out to Lisa Theris for surviving the elements on his little vision quest in the wilderness. I also don’t know how to measure distance but I feel like wandering¬†around in the woods when you’re just a mile away from a major highway is a bad look.

Also this chick kind of looks like Emilia Clarke in that photo so I can’t help but imagine she was found naked covered in mud like Daenerys Targaryen at the end of season 1. Lisa Theris: Mother of Dragons.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Lisa Theris was probably high the entire time. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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