A student who wandered alone and naked in the wilderness for almost a month may have gotten lost and disorientated after she had taken methamphetamine, police suspect.
Lisa Theris lost 40 pounds after she hobbled around in circles in dense woods just a mile from the American highway where she was eventually found covered in mud and scratches.
This is my biggest fear in the world. I write jokes on the Internet. I am the least prepared to wake up in the middle of the woods and survive for a month. There isn’t enough meth in the world to keep me alive for that long. One night in the woods and I’m looking for a noose.
Shout out to Lisa Theris for surviving the elements on his little vision quest in the wilderness. I also don’t know how to measure distance but I feel like wandering around in the woods when you’re just a mile away from a major highway is a bad look.
Also this chick kind of looks like Emilia Clarke in that photo so I can’t help but imagine she was found naked covered in mud like Daenerys Targaryen at the end of season 1. Lisa Theris: Mother of Dragons.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Lisa Theris was probably high the entire time. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.