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Mother! is Two Hours of Jennifer Lawrence Torture Porn, Biblical Nonsense and Michelle Pfeiffer Doing Stuff

A few weeks ago I asked the question, Is Jennifer Lawrence a good actress? I don’t go back and read anything I’ve ever written and once I smash the ‘post’ button, I immediately forget everything I just wrote but I imagine I said ‘no’, she isn’t a good actress.

Wellll, Mother! 1000% flexes all of J-Law’s acting muscles and it’s impossible to walk away from this movie without thinking about how hard she worked in this film. With the movie shot primarily close-up on her face, the story is told through her frantic reactions.

As much as I loved seeing Jennifer Lawrence prove that she actually can act, I equally loved seeing her get panic attacks, lose her mind and straight up get the shit beat out of her. It’s as if this movie was made specifically to make me happy. In Mother!, Lawrence died for her own sins.

Speaking of which, Darren Aronofsky was not messing around with shoving the book of Genesis down our throats in a movie that didn’t seem to have an actual plot but more of a movie that probably would’ve had a Noah’s Ark scene if the budget allowed for animals on set.

Javier Bardem is god. J-Law is Mother Earth. Adam and Eve come through and smash the forbidden fruit. Cain kills Abel. Humanity takes over the Earth and destroys everything. Jesus is born. He is murdered and the blood of christ is devoured by everyone. Mother Earth kills everyone. God hits the reset button and starts the whole cycle over again.

That’s the biblical story. Here’s the actual movie: Javier Bardem is a writer with writer’s block and a wife that he clearly has lost interest in. They live in the middle of nowhere yet Ed Harris shows up to stay there because he’s gonna die soon and has an annoying cough. Michelle Pfeiffer shows up and is extremely rude to Jennifer Lawrence.

Then the Gleeson brothers come out of the clouds and murder each other after fighting over their father’s inheritance. Then a bunch of their friends and family come to the house to mourn the loss of the less famous Gleeson brother. They break the house, the sink especially. Um, then Jennifer Lawrence gets pregnant which inspires Bardem to finally write a poem or whatever.

The media LOSES THEIR SHIT over this poem and they bombard the house. Kristin Wiig shows up. Uh, there’s a fucking war zone in the mudroom. Then a baby gets eaten. Oh and then we see some J-Law boobs and I don’t remember much after that.

Pretty good movie though. Hope I never see it again.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee with your opinions of Mother! Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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