Today’s Morning Caffeine News Rush we have, Cardi B finally fed up with Offset, Patrick Corbin is a bitch and Michael Flynn is snitching on Trump.
No joke here. I genuinely feel bad for Cardi. Imagine getting daily texts from friends like ‘hey, I think I see Offset banging an IG model….again’. Dating. Is. Hard.
👀🏀🤔 Markelle Fultz introduces another style of free throw attempts pic.twitter.com/r8nRvO67QT
— Fanatics View (@fanaticsview) November 17, 2018
Remember when we all diagnosed Fultz with anxiety issues? Yea, he’s fine. His shoulder just hurts like a motherfucker.
Apparently, Michael Flynn is snitching on Donald Trump and Russia’s involvement in the 2016 election like he’s Gossip Girl.
Look, some people can handle the pressures of playing in New York and some people are little bitches.
Everyone is celebrating Jalen Hurts for sticking around at Alabama after being benched but nah. You only have a small window in college to play. If you are good enough to start and you aren’t getting playing time, go transfer, my dude.
Zach Galifianakis is one of the best stand up comedians of all time so yes, make more movies with Zach being an absolute weirdo. The world is ready to forget Hangover 3.
I just can’t wait to see what stories come out now that Urban Meyer is retiring. How many more of his coaches were swatting their wives like flies? How many more of his players were killers like Aaron Hernandez?
I’m already annoying.
Ponder this… what Championship teams have are great leadership! Period! It’s not the offensive guru trend, it’s not the safe trend. Find somebody that is going to hold #12 and everybody in this building to a #LombardiStandard! Period! #losingsucks!
— Winston Moss (@Insanecane99) December 4, 2018
You want to know how I know that this guy is an idiot? Because I was just able to copy and paste this tweet. My guy DIDN’T DELETE THIS YET?! Yea, fire him asap.
2018 and we’re still like ‘congrats for being the best soccer player in the world…show us your butt’.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re about to swan dive into Cardi B’s DM with me. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.