Morning Caffeine News Rush: Brett Favre Is (Accidentally) A Nazi and George H. W. Bush is Dead

Today’s morning caffeine news rush we have Brett Favre doing anything for cash, Aaron Rodgers having the best birthday ever and George H. W. Bush is alive no more.



1. Brett Favre was tricked into giving a shoutout for a group of Nazis.

I firmly believe if you Venmo Favre $500 you can get him to do literally anything. You can have Brett Favre outside shoveling your driveway as long as you send that PayPal cash to ya boy.



2. RIP George H W Bush

Not much to add here. Valar Morghulis.



3. Green Bay Packers fire head coach Mike McCarthy.

Aaron Rodgers turned 35 yesterday and his gift was for this man to become unemployed. Aaron Rodgers is the Thanos of the NFL.



4. Neil deGrasse Tyson is a sexual deviant.

If you read Neil’s weird long Facebook explanation and compare them with the women’s accusations against him, it’s basically just a bunch of asexual science nerds not understanding how to interact with the opposite sex.



5. Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas are married as hell.

I love love. Happy for these two crazy kids.



6. Alabama, Clemson, Notre Dame, and Oklahoma make the College Football Playoffs.

The College Football Playoff is an imperfect way to determine a champion but Alabama is going to win regardless so shrug.gif.



7. Eminem dropped a weird ass 10-minute freestyle for no reason.

Enough, Marshall. Enough.


8. New York Mets acquire Robinson Cano and Edwin Diaz.

Robinson Cano is BACK in New York. Except now he’s in Queens. Poor guy.



9. Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury fought to a draw.

A draw? You want people to care about boxing again? Don’t end fights until one man gets KOed.

10. According to a study, men who were afraid of not being ‘manly’ enough voted for Trump

Science pretty much determined that guys with tiny little dicks voted for Donald Trump. But we knew this already.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee with your ideas of what you can make Favre do for $500. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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