millennials horns

Millennials Are Growing Horns in the Back Of Their Heads From Texting Too Much So Suck a Dick, Baby Boomers…We’re Evolving Past You

Press your fingers into the back of your skull, just above your neck. If you feel a small spike you may be among people whose body has responded to smartphone use by growing new layers of bone.

Describing the phenomenon dubbed “text neck,” Shahar told BBC.com that as we look down at devices like smartphones and tablets, our necks must work to keep our heads in place. Prolonged straining could lead the body to build new bone to increase the surface area holding up this mass. (Newsweek)

Wow, what other generation can say that they’re actively leading human evolution. Our bodies are literally changing in real time to increase our ability to scroll through twitter for longer periods of time.

What have Baby Boomers done? Oh, just destroyed the economy, the environment and just the future of humanity overall? Awesome. Nothing to worry about.

While Baby Boomers are killing humans, Millennials are keeping humans alive with new skull spikes to keep our heads upright.

New rule: you cannot say shit to me unless you have a horn coming out of the back of your head, old man. Beat it, Walter. Your opinions are invalid. Millennials have evolved past you.

This is like Magneto realizing that Mutants aren’t freaks but they have advanced past humans. We are the superior species now. Don’t be shocked if non-horn skulls become extinct in the next few years.

Horn heads > humans 1.0.


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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