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Mike Ford Is Coming To Save The New York Yankees

The true Prince That Was Promised is coming.

There are rumblings that the Yankees are calling up lefty first baseman, Mike Ford, from the AAA squad to help produce some runs for their injury-ridden roster.

Mike Ford is a 26-year undrafted free agent signing in 2013 who the Yankees temporarily lost to the Seattle Mariners in the Rule 5 draft but because he didn’t make Seattle’s 40-man roster, he was returned back to New York.


Ford is slashing .471/.525/1.029 with 4 doubles, 4 home runs and 14 RBIs in 10 games. He’s a left-handed batter who is hitting .500 against left-handed pitching in 12 at-bats this season in AAA.

Let me throw more stats at you.

Greg Bird is ‘slashing’ .171/.257/.550 with one solo home run, 6 hits and 16 strikeouts in 41 plate appearances. That’s garbage, right? Wait for this.

Chris Davis is the worst hitter in baseball. He broke the major league record for most consecutive at-bats without a hit. He didn’t get a hit for the first three weeks of this season. He’s trash.

BUT, Chris Davis has 4 hits, 1 home run and 8 RBIs this year. Yes, the worst hitter in baseball history has only two fewer hits than Bird, the same amount of home runs and 8 TIMES more RBIs.

I’m a Greg Bird fan. But the more his stats continue to dip below Crush Davis’s the more likely I am to go back and delete that I just said I’m a Greg Bird fan.

Enter Mike Ford.

Perhaps we read the prophecy incorrectly. All this time we believed that Greg Bird was the Prince That Was Promised but we were slightly off. Yes, it’s a 26-year old lefty power-hitting first baseman with one syllable first and last names but we misread the Rosetta Stone translation.

Pray for Major League Baseball.

Also real quick, don’t think you’re safe either, Voit. You’re one bad series from getting out of here too. With Giancarlo Stanton, Gary Sanchez and Miguel Andujar out, this is Voit’s time to step up and establish that he’s one of the power hitters in the league. He’s not doing that.

He’s batting .204 and is averaging one strikeout per game. Voit has about 10 days to prove that he deserves to be the starting first baseman because Mike Ford is coming for that ass.


It’s time.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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