What a world we live in. What a time to be alive. Michael Bay, he of the most explosive explosions and bulgiest bulging biceps, is set to produce a live-action Dora the Explorer movie. Natch. The project is shaping up at Paramount’s new Paramount Players division, where Bay and his Platinum Dunes partners Andrew Form and Brad Fuller have signed on to produce a live-action adaptation of Nickelodeon’s popular children’s series.
The Muppets and Neighbors director Nick Stoller has been recruited to pen the script for the project, which THR reports will see Dora aged up from her seven-year-old TV roots. While story details are being kept under wraps, the live-action film will reportedly center on a teenage Dora, who moves to the city to live with her cousin Diego.
Michael Bay is on a one-man mission to personally destroy my childhood. The amount of 5am coke ideas that Michael Bay somehow turns into full-length feature films is astonishing. He has a dart board with every show I watched when I was 8 and he’s going to make every single last one of them into a boring generic action movie.
I want to quickly say that turning an animated property into a live action movie is a bad idea. Those movies are always trash. There are zero people on planet Earth that enjoyed the new Ghost in the Shell movie. I mean, that was mostly because of racism but yea, stop making live-action cartoons.
Transformers stinks. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stinks. Dora The Explorer will for sure stink. Leave me alone, Michael. I swear if you make a shitty Pinky and the Brain live-action movie I’m going to scream.
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