Two consecutive nights of debates consisting of 20 candidates all yelling over each other about who is the maddest at Trump’s immigration policy.
But out of those 20 candidates, one stood head and shoulders above the rest.
Senators, Mayors, Governors, Vice Presidents. Yawn. We’ve seen this all before. But one candidate had a brand new background.
Enter Marianne Williamson, the author who gave us Healing the Soul of America, a book that we all know and love and can recite front to back, back to front.
After about 20 minutes of straight silence from Williamson, she finally entered the forum. When everyone was rambling on about free health care and other revolutionary ideas and blah blah, Marianne Williamson dropped this gem:
“We need to talk about why so many Americans have unnecessary chronic illnesses,” she said—illnesses that she blamed it on our “chemical policies, environmental policies, and food policies.”
We don’t have a health care system, people. We have a ‘sickness’ problem. Come on, open your third eye.
Who cares about insurance agencies and premium and deductibles and actually paying for medicals bills? We need to rid the world of the REAL problem facing American: fluoride in the water that the government uses to track us. Chemtrails and DDT on our crops.
AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT MONSANTO?! WHEN CAN WE TALK ABOUT MONSANTO?!
But Williamson really won me over when she was asked me what would be the first thing she would do as president.
Suck a dick, New Zealand. You just got Marianne’d.
Gun violence has a simple solution: we all just need to put out better energy, man. Like, positive vibes. Healing crystals for everyone. We have to change our auras, guys.
There’s a 90% chance that none of us are actually real and we are all figments of Mariane Williamson’s imagination. If she wakes up from this acid trip, we won’t exist anymore.