Lonzo Ball and His Soon To Be Ex Girlfriend Are Expecting a Child

From the very first moment I saw him I knew he was special. Without knowing his name or watching him play, all I cared about was that fact that he caught my eye and had my attention. As impossible as it may seem, the Zo I know off the court is more incredible than who he is on the court. Personally, it will always be that way. Being by his side through it all, has been a blessing in itself. It brings me so much happiness to watch him do what he loves and no one deserves this opportunity more than he does. Congrats on this accomplishment, but we know you ain’t done yet. It’s time to takeover this next level and I’m ready to support you along the way??

A post shared by Denise Garcia? (@dmoney0414) on

The Los Angeles Lakers point guard and his longtime girlfriend, Denise Garcia, are expecting their first child together, according to TMZ Sports. The report states that Garcia is four months along in her pregnancy, though there’s no word yet on whether it’s a boy or girl.


Lonzo’s pull out game is atrocious. This is what happens when you get drafted onto a super young NBA team and there are no veterans there to put their arm around your shoulder and say ‘always wear a condom’.

Lonzo Ball’s life is complete chaos. His mother is recovering from having a stroke. His brothers live in fucking Lithuania now. His father is at war with the president of the United States. The Los Angeles Lakers are tanking but they don’t have a first-round draft pick so there is no benefit to losing.

Annnddd now he went and got some random broad from Chino Hills pregnant. What a sucker. Gets one NBA contract and is already trapped by the local hometown girl who was nice to him before he could make a jump shot.

Lonzo Ball is 365 days from being a burnout and an amazing ESPN 30 For 30 Series about ‘what could have been’ before the child support and paying millions after Big Baller Brand lawsuits when those shoes fall to pieces.


When Lonzo inevitably dumps you for some chick on Love and Hip Hop, sup?



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you can’t wait to see this kid playing in Lithuania in like, 6 years. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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