Literally Tear Down Every Statue

It is almost impossible to feel like a proud American in a country that routinely chooses money and capitalism over human life. As I write this, states are rushing to open back and unnecessarily expose people to a virus that has killed a quarter-million people because we must maintain the economy or some shit.

But recently, seeing people rip down and vandalize statues of Confederate ‘heroes’ and false legends like Christopher Columbus makes me feel the brief moment of pride that I’m told I’m supposed to feel on a daily basis here.

Like everything in this country, we must turn everything into a political debate and ‘both sides’ must be given their opportunity by media outlets to share their obviously wrong points of view and now we are debating whether or not we should have statues that turn racists into legends. Sure.

Henry Olsen wrote a wonderfully dumb op-ed for the Washington Post titled ‘The anti-statue movement has taken a turn into absurdity’ in which he attempts the tired argument that removing statues will rob of us our history and blah blah.

I do have to give credit to Henry Olsen for writing one of my favorite sentences that a real life adult human editor allowed to be seen:

George Washington owned slaves, but he also founded a nation dedicated to the idea whose incompatibility with slavery made its eradication inevitable.

Round of applause to the most flexible man on Earth with such an impressive reach. First of all, starting any sentence with ‘George Washington owned slaves, but’ completely invalidates whatever nonsense thought you were attempting to articulate.

By waving off the horror and animalistic brutality of slavery, you are making your stance on race loud and clear. You do not give a shit about black people and they should be thankful that we allowed slavery to end.

He found a nation that made it possible for slavery to end eventually. What an insane leap in logic. No one has ever been let off the hook more than George Washington because of some shit with a cherry tree or whatever.

George Washington spent his entire life acquiring slaves. Nothing about his leadership as the first president had anything to do with ever ending slavery. He loved slaves SO MUCH that when he moved to Pennsylvania and encountered a new law that any slave living in the state for over six months would automatically be freed after their 28th birthday, he cheated the system by moving his slaves back to his original land on Mount Vernon and continuing to cycle slaves in and out so they never reached the sixth month threshold.

Thank god he created a country whose ideas would maybe someday sort of free slaves maybe.

For some reason we have to immortalize these men otherwise we won’t remember history? Does history only exist in our minds during the off chances we happen to pass by a monument and stop to read the plaque?

I love all the Osama Bin Laden statues we have all over New York. I was conflicted about them being built at first but I mean, we would all forget that tragedy of 9/11 unless we didn’t have Bin Laden statues at every street corner to remind us of our history.

Ah, I’m sorry. I got that one mixed up. It is only white oppressors and murderers who we must constantly be reminded of.

Fuck George Washington. He won a war to free white people from the British Empire so that they could beat black bodies in peace.

And do I need to mention how unbelievable it is that there are Confederate soldiers with statues even though they fought against the United States and wanted so that they could beat black bodies in peace? Oh, look. I’ve noticed a pattern.

Last week, New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, came out and said that he wanted to preserve Christopher Columbus statues because he’s an Italian hero even though Columbus came to the Americas representing Spain. It’s odd that Cuomo could forget that history, ya know, with all the statues around to make sure we don’t forget history. Strange.

Imagine your big Italian hero whose legacy you must preserve is a man who accidentally stumbled into a country and immediately proceeded to rape and mangle and torture everyone in his line of sight simply because they were brown and spoke a different language.

It’s very simple: white nationalists want us to believe that the history and the accomplishments of white people are so important that they outweigh all of the atrocities and massacres they committed along the way.

This isn’t about heritage or some other obvious lie. White people do not want you to forget what people that look like them did to people that look like you.

Tear every single statue down.





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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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