There’s a war going on in the streets and it’s time for Deadseriousness to pick a side. Shots have been fired. Shots have literally been fired. Last week, Young Thug and Birdman (allegedly) attempted to casually murder Lil Wayne. Well here’s the thing. Shoot at the king and you best not miss. Someone’s probably going to die soon so I have to write this before it’s no longer funny to mock this attempted murder.
Where do we begin? Should we start with Birdman basically locking Lil Wayne in the basement while he promoted his new “Rich Gang” of Rich Homie Quan and Young Thug. Birdman wanted to play with his shiny new Buzz Lightyear toy and is kinda done with his lame ass Woody toy. Now just imagine if Andy and Buzz decided to team up and shoot Woody.
Here’s another problem. Young Thug wanted to honor his hero, Lil Wayne, by releasing an album entitled Tha Carter VI. The problem being that Lil Wayne had yet to release Tha Carter V because Birdman was ignoring him and playing with his new toy.
The more I attempt to unbox this the more I realize that no one is actually going to get shot. They’re fighting over album titles and attention from their step dad. This will 1000% end with Lil Wayne giving Young Thug and noogie. This was supposed to be an in-depth battle breakdown but fuck this. I’m not taking a side.
You know who won this war? Birdman. Guy hasn’t written a rap song song since like ’03 and is Scrooge McDucking into a pool full of money every day while his two retarded sons argue on twitter. It’d be like if Batman just kept raising and training Robins to fight crime while he just stayed home rubbing his hands together and hiding his homosexuality. Birdman looks like a sack of potatoes that some little kid scribbled all over and he’s the only won coming out of this war with a W. 90’s had Biggie vs. Pac. We get Thugger vs. Tunechi. Fuck.