Evan Perlmutter graduated from James Madison University in 2008. A few months later, he started working for Madison Square Garden in the ad-sales department. The pay was lousy. “About $31,000 a year,” Perlmutter, now 33, recalled over the phone recently. “Not enough to really live in New York.” But for Perlmutter, a lifelong Knicks fan who grew up in Long Island, the perks of the gig outweighed the low salary. This, after all, was his dream job.
But Perlmutter, who left his MSG job seven years ago and now works for a marketing company called One Line Agency, will soon be parting ways with most of these spoils. Doing so is one of the terms of the listing he posted to eBay last week, when he vowed to sell his Knicks fandom to the highest bidder.
“Infuriated New York Knicks fan has had enough, selling my fanhood,” read the listings title. In the listing, Perlmutter promised to root “whole-heartly” (sic) for whichever team the auction’s winner chooses and, among other things, place a $500 wager that his new team eclipses its over/under win total, thus “ensuring I root for them each and every game.” His opening bid request asked for $1,973 in honor of the Knicks’ last championship (1973).
As for his Knicks gear, Perlmutter promised to “throw out my awesome Knicks trash can” and “burn no less than three articles of Knicks memorabilia.”
Now, thanks to a winning bid of $3,500 from James Riedel, a 23-year-old Orange County resident who runs a YouTube channel, Perlmutter will be rooting for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Evan Perlmutter really quit his job and scammed his way into a fat severance check by auctioning off his fandom to the highest bidder on eBay, a website that I didn’t realize still existed in 2018 but apparently, there are still users on that site willing to throw money directly into the trash for imaginary concepts.
I love the New York Knicks.
Sure, they’ve lost more than they’ve won in my lifetime but that’s sports. One team wins which means one team has to lose. Unfortunately, the Knicks fall into the losing category more often than not but I’m still there on a random Tuesday night in January watching the Charlotte Hornets WORK them in Madison Square Garden.
Having said that, I will sell the shit out of my fandom for $3,500. Honestly, I’ll never watch another Knicks game again if someone buys me a decent enough lunch. Venmo me $25 and I’ll become a Memphis Grizzlies fan. The Venmo is open.
You know the actual worst part of this story? James Riedel, a 23-year Orange County resident who runs a Youtube channel. Fuck this kid. Just lighting $3,500 on fire because he can. I need a Youtube channel and an Orange County residence. I’ll sell my Knicks fandom for it.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Evan Perlmutter deserves to be in the Scammers Hall of Fame for this finesse. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.