Life is Awful and We’re All Going To Die BUT We Have Sour Patch Kids Cereal Coming To Save Us

What Happened?

Post Consumer Brands just confirmed the news today, but the world got a sneak peek back in October, when the snack-centric Instagram account Candy Hunting posted a blurry photo of a Sour Patch Kids cereal box.

There’s no word just yet on whether Sour Patch Kids: The Cereal is as tart as Sour Patch Kids: The Candy, although, we do know that the kid-shaped pieces are fruit-flavored with “a sour coating and a sweet finish.” Sour Patch Kids cereal will be available in Walmart stores starting Wednesday, December 26, before rolling out to major retailers nationwide in early 2019.



There are very few things to look forward to in life. If you asked me to write down a list of everything I’m excited about these days, you’d get back a blank piece of paper. But Post is giving us all a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

We can all agree that Sour Patch Kids are absolute fire. When I was but a little baby boy, that was the first candy that made me realize ‘ohhh, this is why I can’t eat candy all the time. This is so good it might literally kill me’.

Now it’s in cereal form??

Just put this is a cereal bowl with milk for me. Then take that bowl and dump everything into a blender. Let it blend, of course. Take that new liquified Sour Patch Kids Cereal serum and put it in a syringe. Take that needle and inject this directly into my neck. Plz.

Will the milk and the sour candy clash? That’s a game of Russian roulette I’m willing to play. No risk, no reward.

If I go missing on December 26th, it’s because I’m going Walmart to Walmart¬†demanding¬†every single box of Sour Patch Kids Cereal and I may or may not be taking hostages if I hear one assistant manager say ‘no’ to me.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you are HYPED for Sour Patch Kids Cereal. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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