LaVar Ball says he will import Big Baller Brand water from Lithuania to the US, says price point will be on par with Perrier or San Pellegrino. pic.twitter.com/qe7oKJjFQo
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 9, 2018
“Wow, this mineral is stronger than anyone else. What player NBA advertises water? Nothing Everybody in America is somehow too proud of water companies. There are energy drinks that are advertised, but nobody even thought about water. And here we come from the Atlantic with water. Lithuania has the best water in the world! Zero nitrate! What kind of water is more transparent?”
“People will feel that they will become ‘Big Ballers’ when they drink it. This will give the water a reputation.”
Ah finally, fresh water from the delicious and mineral-filled waters of Lithuania. Fuck Poland, Maine. If you’re not chugging water from the Baltic Sea then you’re simply not a Big Baller. LaVar Ball is changing the game up once again. Never. Lost.
If LaVar Ball says that Lithuania has the best water in the world then Lithuania has the best water in the world. It’s that simple.
This man has spent the last 18 months speaking his thoughts into existence starting from making his son the starting point guard for the Los Angeles Lakers to now having his other sons play professional basketball, albeit, in Europe, it’s still professional ball.
We are long past the days of questioning his decisions. Don’t be shocked if all of the water supply in America suddenly becomes polluted and undrinkable and we all have no choice but to pay $400 for a 12oz bottle of Big Baller Brand water.
As it was written.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re going to be drinking Big Baller Brand water asap. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.