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Last Night Proved Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez Will Be Together Forever

Last night during the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball broadcast, Jennifer Lopez surprised Alex Rodriguez with a cake for his birthday along with his daughters which made it very clear that these two are going to be together forever.

Not because she surprised him on his birthday. They came to the game together. Alex wasn’t ‘surprised’ Jennifer was in the building.

Nope, they’ll be together forever because look at this cake she gave him.

“Happy birthday”. Look at this generic ass cake. I bet Alex Rodriguez’s least favorite color is green too. I bet A-Rod didn’t even touch this nonsense.

That looks dangerously close to those Entenmann’s cakes you can pick up real quick at the local 7-Eleven for $9 on your way to the graduation party you didn’t want to attend.

This is the cake you give the person you’re spending the rest of your life with.

When you’re still in the honeymoon phase or you’re doing sweet things for each other because you know there’s a photo op for Instagram, you’re doomed.

But when you’re interrupting your boyfriend at work to give him a garbage cake he doesn’t want that you picked up last minute because you just remembered it was his birthday, that’s true love.

They’re already half-assing their affection. What a beautiful thing. No more corny Vanity Fair interviews. They’re arguing over who’s washing the dishes and picking the girls up from school.

1000% chance J-Lo whispered in his ear before she left the broadcast booth ‘can you pick up milk on the way home?’ but said it in a tone like ‘I asked you to pick up milk this morning and you didn’t so you better pick that shit up tonight or I’m changing the locks’.

Congrats to Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez for taking their love to the next level.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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