O’Quinn told ESPN’s Ian Begley his side gig as “Bar Mitzvah Man” started after he was invited to the bat mitzvah of his agent Andy Miller’s daughter. “That was one of the best parties I’ve been to in my life,” O’Quinn said.
The big man typically shows up to the parties once the religious ceremony is over and spends most of his time dancing, signing autographs, joking around, and taking lots of selfies.
“A lot of times, I go and I stay longer than I’m supposed to because it’s so much fun,” O’Quinn said. “The food’s always good. The only thing that gets a little overwhelming is the kids; sometimes they don’t listen to the structure of the party and it just gets loose.
“And the (parents) kind of leave it like, ‘Kyle, you deal with it.’ And it’s kids saying, ‘Selfie, selfie, selfie, Snapchat, what’s your Snapchat?’ But once you get that out of the way, it’s fun.”
Sooo, this is weird, right? You can look at it as O’Quinn giving back to the community by making these 13 year olds have lit Bar Mitzvahs. In that regard, Kyle is doing great work. He’s a local hero. Little Jewish kids are desperate for street cred and having a 6’10” bearded black monster crushing the Electric Slide is a surefire way to get a handjob from your classmate.
But, I’m pretty sure Kyle O’Quinn isn’t doing this for the kids. My man straight up LOVES Bar Mitzvahs. I don’t even think he’s being invited to these events. He’s searching on Facebook and crashing local birthday parties for free catering and play with kids. Interpret that last point as you may.
I’ve been saying that the Knicks should trade O’Quinn for a couple of years and now I really mean it. Think about the children.
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