kyle o'quinn

Kyle O’Quinn Is Moonlighting As Bar Mitzvah Entertainment

O’Quinn told ESPN’s Ian Begley his side gig as “Bar Mitzvah Man” started after he was invited to the bat mitzvah of his agent Andy Miller’s daughter. “That was one of the best parties I’ve been to in my life,” O’Quinn said.

The big man typically shows up to the parties once the religious ceremony is over and spends most of his time dancing, signing autographs, joking around, and taking lots of selfies.

“A lot of times, I go and I stay longer than I’m supposed to because it’s so much fun,” O’Quinn said. “The food’s always good. The only thing that gets a little overwhelming is the kids; sometimes they don’t listen to the structure of the party and it just gets loose.

“And the (parents) kind of leave it like, ‘Kyle, you deal with it.’ And it’s kids saying, ‘Selfie, selfie, selfie, Snapchat, what’s your Snapchat?’ But once you get that out of the way, it’s fun.”



Sooo, this is weird, right? You can look at it as O’Quinn giving back to the community by making these 13 year olds have lit Bar Mitzvahs. In that regard, Kyle is doing great work. He’s a local hero. Little Jewish kids are desperate for street cred and having a 6’10” bearded black monster crushing the Electric Slide is a surefire way to get a handjob from your classmate.

But, I’m pretty sure Kyle O’Quinn isn’t doing this for the kids. My man straight up LOVES Bar Mitzvahs. I don’t even think he’s being invited to these events. He’s searching on Facebook and crashing local birthday parties for free catering and play with kids. Interpret that last point as you may.

I’ve been saying that the Knicks should trade O’Quinn for a couple of years and now I really mean it. Think about the children.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Kyle O’Quinn should be traded yesterday. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

Leave a Reply


Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

andrew spark

Guy Arrested For Visiting Jail And Recording a Porn With Inmates Called ‘Girls In Jail’

andrea baber

(Kinda Cute) Teacher Arrested For Banging and Smoking Weed With 15-Year Old Little Boy