Kyle Kuzma is a Cop

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Whose mans is this?????

For weeks I’ve been wondering how and why Kyle Kuzma survived that Anthony Davis trade. Brandon Ingram gone. Lonzo Ball gone. Josh Hart gone.

All of the young prospects that the Lakers had on their roster were sent to New Orleans yet for some strange reason, Kyle Kuzma remained in Los Angeles. Hm.

Now it’s incredibly clear what’s going on. Kuzma is an undercover cop. Look at this DT. He looks like the first cop they sent in to catch Bodhi in Point Break but they immediately found out he was police and murked him before the FBI sent Johnny Utah.

Look at those goofy ass pockets. Mad room for handcuffs and cocaine to plant on young black teens minding their own business.

Kyle Kuzma is representing Team USA at the 2019 FIBA World Cup and now the rest of the world is going to think we’re all narcs. Don’t be shocked if Donovan Mitchell or Jayson Tatum ‘randomly’ get popped for weed for driving without a seatbelt as Officer Kuzma rides shotgunning texting the local precinct from his pocket like Matt Damon in The Departed.

‘Hello, fellow kids’ -officer Kuzma walking into Jaylen Brown’s hotel room as he fake sniffs and asks if he has any of that ‘good cociana’.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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