Kristaps Porzingis Is Drafted On Team LeBron So Now I Have To Root Against Him (?) Help Me

In the first year of this new All-Star format, the two highest vote-getters, LeBron James and Steph Curry, drafted their own All-Star teams and of course, LeBron drafted Kristaps Porzingis in a direct white glove slap to my jaw.

This is Kristaps Porzingis’s first ever All-Star and now he’s stuck playing with LeBron, one of the most annoying and overbearing humans on planet Earth. If there is one single story about LeBron barking at Porzingis at a random no-stakes All-Star team practice, I’m flying to Los Angeles, breaking into LeBron’s hotel and peeing on everything. No door knob will be piss-less.

Kristaps deserves better than this. He should be with Steph Curry and James Harden shooting nonstop 3’s and putting on a show. Now, LeBron is going to take the super fun All-Star game and slow it down to half speed. Kristaps is going to have to post up and battle in the paint like he’s playing a regular season game with the Knicks and LeBron is going to treat him like Kevin Love, aka, ignoring him entirely.

LeBron James is so unbearable that is was reported that Kyrie Irving wanted to leave Cleveland soo badly that he threatened to undergo season-ending knee surgery to avoid another season with LeBron. That’s wild. I don’t even want to get my blood taken in a normal physical exam. Can’t imagine hating my coworker so much that I’d get major surgery to avoid spending time with him.

I’m so conflicted. How am I supposed to feel? The irony is that if there wasn’t a draft this year than Kristaps and LeBron would be teammates on the Eastern Conference squad anyway but because there was a draft I had hope that Kristaps would escape the tyranny that is a LeBron led basketball team.

Go Kristaps! BOOO LeBron! TELL ME HOW TO FEEL.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Kristaps Porzingis will have no impact on this game at all. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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