Kristaps Porzingis Doesn’t Understand Snapchat

Kristaps Porzingis is the most important man in the most important city on the planet. Do you think he has time to figure out all these cute little iPhone apps? While you’re running around local parks trying to catch Caterpies, Porzingis is in the weight room preparing to body Tristan Thompson into an early retirement.

This is exactly what I want from my star players. Complete ignorance when it comes to technology. All Porzingis should be worrying about is getting the ball in the basket. I’d honestly be pissed if he not only knew how long Snapchat videos lasted but he used the dog face filter or some basic shit like that.

Also, I’m pretty sure he comes from a country that doesn’t even have wifi so giving him Snapchat and expecting him to understand is like giving a puppy a jar of jelly and a package of bread and demanding he make himself lunch.


Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Kristaps Porzingis is the greatest player in NBA history. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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