Stages of ACL recovery — Kristaps Porzingis style:
1) Full extension
2) Weight bearing
3) Low-impact exercises
4) Swan diving off a yacht in Ibiza with a bikini model pic.twitter.com/lYdghDjC4r
— Thomas Duffy (@TJDhoops) June 18, 2018
Go off, king. That’s my MVP. Catch Kristaps on a Yacht surrounded by boobs and diving boards. This is the ideal way to rehab a torn ACL. Sure, I guess it would be cool to see him hitting the leg press at the local Latvian gym or like, shooting basketballs but first thing first, boobs.
I will say, my knee kind of hurts just looking at the photo of him jumping off the yacht. It’s like he has no control over his legs. I reckon that explains how his ACL tore to begin with.
But as a Knicks fan, you have to be encouraged by this. My man isn’t in a wheelchair or dragging his 9-foot body in crutches. He’s out here living his best life hopping into the Mediterranian Sea to impress busty blondes.
This is the offseason he should be having.
It was being reported that the Knicks would sit Porzingis for the entire 2018-19 NBA season. Let’s throw that shit in the trash, Kristaps will be ready by preseason, apparently. He honestly seems like he could play an 82 game season if it started tomorrow.
Can’t wait until the Knicks trade for Kawhi Leonard in a couple of weeks and then sign Kyrie Irving the following offseason now that Porzingis has indestructible knees and boobs on deck and we all know that Kyrie loves him a white girl yacht party.
Kristaps Porzingis is spending this summer preparing for Kyrie’s parties next year. Knicks in 4.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re hyped to see that Kristaps’s knee is doing well. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.