Kirk Cousins Just Put His Name on the 2020 MVP Trophy

Some people believe that Kirk Cousins is just a gym teacher that won some local Duluth sports radio call-in contest to play as the Vikings quarterback for a day but Cousins stepped up this Sunday to prove the haters wrong.

The Atlanta Falcons came to town with zero wins on the season and no head coach. They proceeded to then drop 40 points on the Vikings dome thanks to the handy work of future MVP Kirk Cousins.

Kirk had zero touchdowns and 3 interceptions in the first half alone as Minnesota went into the locker room down 20-0. He now leads the league with 10 interceptions.

Here’s what Kirk has to say about his amazing performance this season:

“The reality is if the pace I’m on in terms of the interceptions, if that were to continue, I won’t finish the season,” Cousins said. “I won’t — you know what I mean? There’s a little bit of, you got to improve. Whether it’s them telling me, ‘Hey, we gotta improve,’ or them pulling me; we got to get better. That’s what the rest of the season will be about for me, is trying to protect the football as best I can. Because when you turn the ball over, it really hurts your chances to win. I know that. I just need to improve as we look ahead to the rest of the season.”

It’s important to match these comments with the fact that Cousins just signed a 2-year $66 million extension before the season started after initially stealing $84 million from them two years earlier. I have no idea why Minnesota is in this weird financial dom relationship with Kirk. Their big kink is being called a little bitch that needs to go to the nearest ATM and take out $1,000 for Cousins.

But we don’t kink shame here at Deadseriousness. Everybody go nut. But it’s still hilarious that Kirk Cousins is the 7th highest paid QB in the league and the Vikings have one (1) win after six weeks. Yike.

Shout out to Kirk for stealing another bag and then just coasting. So when he says that if he doesn’t play better then he’s going to be benched sounds less like accountability and more like a goal. The checks clear whether he starts or not.

Nothing but respect for my MVP.


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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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