TheLesterLee
I don’t think I’ve been shy about my Kevin Durant slander. No one on the internet really has. Durant is an oversensitive weirdo who makes burner accounts to anonymously respond to anyone who criticizes his extremely wack decision to join a 73 win Golden State Warriors.
He seems to be the least fun person in the NBA who only cared about shooting contested jumpers and searching his name on Twitter. Not a single ‘maybe I should brush my hair’ thought has ever crossed his mind.
If I was throwing a party and a friend texted me ‘hey, is it cool if I bring my buddy Kevin Durant with me?’, I’d send a gif of Simon Cowell from American Idol saying “It’s gonna be a no from me” before deleting his number forever.
But there’s something surprisingly fun listening to him interact with another NBA ‘star’ and hearing him talk shit. It’s almost as if he has a personality. I don’t want to jump to conclusions here but maybe when he’s amongst his peers, he’s actually a normal dude.
Now, you have to remember that he’s bragging about Steph Curry’s team signing DeMarcus Cousins which is super lame and on brand for Durant I guess but somehow CJ McCollum came off as the lame one in this discussion.
Imagine what it feels like being on the Portland Trailblazers every year and having to convince yourself that you have a chance to win an NBA title even though you know you won’t make it out of the first round because Damian Lillard is the best player on the team and he’s as good as Kemba Walker, who is fine or whatever.
Shout out to Jusuf Nurkic who the Blazers had to settle for because no one better than that will ever sign with Portland. Can’t wait to see the Blazers sneak into the playoffs next year and get chokeslammed by the Houston Rockets in the first round, as is tradition.
Kevin Durant is still a bitch though.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if this conversation miiiiight make you like Kevin Durant maybe possibly one day. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.
