The NBA All-Star game occurred last weekend despite the fact that Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons were in contact with someone who had Coronavirus and we were supposed to pretend like two of the biggest players didn’t have their health threatened to play a meaningless basketball game in front of Jack Harlow and Obi Toppin’s dad.
The greatest basketball players in the world took the court and gave us a pretty exciting show. It was a bit too one-sided for my liking and the 4th quarter wasn’t nearly as interesting as it could’ve been if Kevin Durant actually drafted the best players and didn’t just draft dudes who were in his phone contacts but it was still dope as hell to see the greatest basketball players do battle.
The greatest basketball players… and Mike Conley.
After 14 seasons, Conley finally made his first All-Star team replacing the injured Devin Booker and when he entered the game, it was immediately clear why it took him 14 years and why he’ll never be back.
Mike Conley went out there for 12 minutes and went 1-for-6 from the field. This weirdo had a turnover and committed a foul in an All-Star game. A zero-contact game and Conley fouled someone.
Do you understand how maddening it is to watch Team LeBron doing amazing shit out there like Giannis going 16-for-16 including a couple bank shot 3’s and Steph Curry and Damian Lilliard casually making half-court shots and then Mike Conley comes out there just looking like a Make-a-Wish kid who begged the NBA to let him dribble in an All-Star game.
Does anyone truly believe Conley belongs out there with James Harden, Kyrie Irving and Steph Curry? Last year, Kyle Lowry was out there drawing charges and I wanted him arrested. This year, Mike Conley was chucking bricks and fouling.
Keep this man away from All-Star games forever. The Utah Jazz are not a real team. Their success is fake. Donovan Mitchell scores 20 points a game. Cool. It takes him 40 shots to get those 20 points.
Here’s my favorite Donovan Mitchell stat: He’s been in the Top 10 in missed field goals 4 times in his career. He’s never been in the Top 10 in points per game. Homeboy is just missing shots at a historic clip.
I don’t even want to get into Rudy Gobert—the man who ended the NBA season when he thought he was cute to mock Covid and then immediately get Covid. Bitch ass.
Remove the Utah Jazz from my line of sight.