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Julio Jones Skipping Mini Camp To Hang Out With Terrell Owens Instead Instantly Makes Him 1000% More Likeable

What Happened?

Julio Jones is skipping Atlanta Falcons mini-camp and seems to be holding out for a new contract after signing a 5-year $71 million extension in 2015. I don’t really shit about any of that. The Atlanta Falcons blew a 28-3 lead two seasons ago and last season Jones only caught 3 touchdowns. 3. Julio Jones should be giving his money back after that.

 

Is Julio Jones the next TO though?

If Julio comes out this year, catches a touchdown pass Week 1 and pulls a sharpie out of his cleats to sign the football, he will automatically become my favorite player in the NFL. The league is desperate for stars. We need a disruptor.

I love Odell Beckham Jr but he’s not a villain. Sure, he’ll fake piss on a football in the end zone in one of the weirdest touchdown celebrations I’ve ever seen but then he’ll volunteer at the local soup kitchen 4 hours later and you can’t even hate him for it.

Outside of the guys who are driving their cars high on K2 at 3am on the Long Island Expressway and the guys who are beating their girlfriends with their illegal guns, the NFL needs more straight assholes who don’t care about anything other than themselves.

Colin Kaepernick‘s thing was cute or whatever but it was too selfless. I want Julio Jones taking a knee during the National Anthem and then when he gets asked about it in the post-game press conference I want him to say “What are you talking about? I was just tying my shoes, man. Can’t a brother tie his shoes?’ before he jumps in the sidecar of Terrell Owens’s motorcycle like Muttley and Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races.

Do the right thing, Julio. Become a jerk.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Julio Jones is the next Terrel Owens. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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