Join The Death Cult As We March Into Disney World

On Sunday, Florida recorded 15,299 brand new cases of Coronavirus which is a new record that breaks the old United States state record of 11,458 that was set in—yup, you guessed it—Florida. But the best part is that Florida has just re-opened arguably the biggest tourist attraction in the country: Disney World.

We’re all going to die.

Here is their cute little welcome back video:

And here is a not so cute reminder that you’re strolling through a post-apocalyptic amusement park for no reason.

That was significantly less ‘magical’ than the previous video,

The defense of Disney World re-opening has been the same defense of states like Florida refusing to quarantine during this GLOBAL PANDEMIC. This belief that quarantining would rob Americans of their freedom and that we face risk every day so let people who want to risk catching this virus go out there and continue their daily bullshit. Oh, and we cannot shut the economy down or whatever.

We have nowhere near enough information about COVID-19 to be anywhere near as careless as Florida has been. We have no idea what the long term effects are on the human body. We do not know if you can catch the virus multiple times. How it spreads to our potential offspring. We don’t even fully understand the risks we are demanding to take.

But this is the United States where we don’t give a shit about anything outside of getting Likes on apps that are collecting our data and selling to god knows who.

We must prove our masculinity by posting a selfie of ourselves not wearing a face mask so that our friend’s wife can Like the pic and our fragile little self esteems can drag our rotting bodies to dinner time where we go to a small dusty restaurant and take photos of our lame ass drinks for IG stories that people just open to get rid of the notifications of their feeds all while Coronavirus is just speed-bagging our lungs into submission.

“We have to go back to work”. Yes, certainly Disney employees must be rushed back into the parks. Disney, the company that had a 74% bump in Disney Plus downloads this past weekend so we can all shut our brains off for two hours and watch slave owners rap to us. Surely this company does not have enough money to pay their park employees paid time off until Florida gets their virus numbers under control.

Also important to mention that both the NBA and Major League Soccer are finishing their seasons in ‘bubbles’ at Disney World. The same Disney World that has re-opened. Everyone is in Florida right now sneezing into each other’s open mouths and not washing their hands.

America is a death cult.

We do not care about anything or anyone. New Zealand had ONE new case yesterday because they stayed inside and didn’t have a government that pretended like the virus was a hoax for three months and people realized it was more important to ya know, STAY ALIVE then it was to win some argument on Twitter against an account with 7 followers and a bio that says “Ugh, I miss the Obama’s’.

People can’t pay rent. People can’t afford healthcare. But who cares? Disney World is back open, babyyyy.

Sure, our grandparents are dead because the hospital didn’t have enough beds to take care of them but hey, they were going to die anyway. Eventually. Hell, we all are. So let’s just enjoy the few days we have left and ride the [insert name of popular Disney World rollercoaster] and not concern ourselves with maintaining a heartbeat. Let’s give the little money we have to a corporation that deserves it more. Disney.

We’re all going to die like, this week.





Sign Up For The Deadseriousness Newsletter

Don't worry, we don't spam


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

Leave a Reply

new york knicks jason kidd

Should The New York Knicks Hire Jason Kidd As Their Next Head Coach?


Is Wayfair Selling Child Sex Slaves With Their Cabinets and Ottomans?