John Kasich Eats Pizza With a Fork Sooo He Will Never Be President

Earlier this week, John Kasich was seen in New York eating pizza with a fork thus guaranteeing that he will never become president. Look back at the great presidents. Lincoln, FDR, Bush. None of those men would ever dare eat pizza with a fork. That shit will get you beheaded in some countries and if I had my way, it’d get you beheaded here.

Kasich attempted to defend his savagery today.

[su_quote cite=”Politico” url=”″]”Look, look, the pizza came scalding hot, OK? And so I use a little fork,” the governor of Ohio told ABC’s “Good Morning America.[/su_quote]

How can I trust this man with nuclear weapons when he can’t even handle hot pizza? As I write this, Vladimir Putin is arm wrestling a grizzly bear. American cannot have a leader that’s using forks for his finger foods. When do you think the last time Putin had a fork in his hands? Never?

What’s crazier, John Kasich eating pizza with a fork or the fact that he’s still running for president? Donald Trump won the republican candidacy already. Like, that’s just a fact. Does John Kasich really think he can sneak up and win out of nowhere? He’s not even close.

Take the pizza fork shit out of here, Kasich.

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you eat pizza with a fork so I can block you.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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