Jennifer Lopez Turned 49 Years Old and This Is What She Looks Like, I Have…Thoughts

jennifer lopez

Happy Birthday, J-Lo.

First of all, shout out to Alex Rodriguez in that birthday photo smiling like the creepy uncle who was super happy that for once, they allowed him to be in the picture instead of asking him to hold the camera.

Jennifer Lopez is approaching 50-years old and has the body of a 20-year old Instagram hoe fighting off NBA players in her DMs.

I don’t even really know what her life consists of these days. She might be on a television show. She might have an album coming out. What I do know is that she either spends 24 hours in the gym or she has surrounded herself with the right company. *winks at camera*

I’d imagine that Alex Rodriguez has boxes upon boxes of those sweet sweet HGH gummy bears that he used to snack on in between innings when he played for the New York Yankees. I doubt he threw that secret stash out.

Am I saying that J-Lo is using performance-enhancing drugs to get abs from her vag to her clavicle? Yea, duh and there’s nothing wrong that. Do whatever makes you happy. We all know you’re from the block and you made it.

Everyone should take HGH. Whether you’re trying to hit 100 home runs in a season or you’re a sex symbol from another generation and want to maintain that level of social relevance, juice up.

Happy Birthday, Jennifer Lopez. Share some HGH for the rest of us.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Jennifer Lopez is on A-Rod secret HGH diet. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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