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In Defense of the Totally Sane Woman Who Is Suing Brett Gardner Because He Won’t Let Her Bang Him

Gina Devasahayam, a die hard Yankees fan, has been in the middle of a legal battle with Brett Garder and Major League Baseball as they’ve both filed lawsuits against each other over the rights to hump Gardner.

An attorney for Gardner filed an order of protection against Gina Devasahayam last week in Bronx civil court, according to NJ.com, which reported Monday that the Yankees want her banned from all MLB ballparks.

Devasahayam, 46, who says she’s the founder of an anti-aging biotechnology company, sued Gardner, the Yankees and MLB last year after she was booted out of Yankee Stadium during a playoff game in October.

“I request the Court to grant me access to the Stadium in accordance with MLB fan policy and also in accordance with ‘Significant other’ of MLB player Brett Gardner,” Devasahayam wrote in the lawsuit, according to the news outlet. “I am a Yankees fan and also the future wife of Brett Gardner.”

This is the best MLB offseason ever.

Gina Devasahayam is just a small business owner who wants nothing more than to spread her anti-aging biotech with the world and spread her ashy legs for her husband Brett Gardner. How dare the Yankees kick her out when she’s watching her ‘significant other’ play?

Gina Devasahayam

First right: I claim we are married and forge your signature on marriage licenses and tax forms.

Second right: Let me into the stadium.

I really think this Tweet will hold up in court.

Sure, the court of public opinion has already decided this woman is crazy but how do we truly know that she isn’t out here banging Brett Gardner on the regular?

Yes, Gardner has a full separate family on his own but come on. We’re all adults here. This wouldn’t be the first rich and famous man to secretly smash cheeks behind his wife’s back.

And how can you blame Gina Devasahayam? Have you seen Brett Gardner?

Standing at a stout 5-foot-9 and balding with true grace and integrity, of course Gina is trapped in his sexual vortex. If anything, we should be blaming Gardner for entrapment.

Keep that generic white guy ass off the field and stop taunting poor women with your inability to properly anticipate where a fly ball is going. I’m starting to think Brett always lets fly balls land over his head intentionally so ladies in the bleachers can see him bend over to pick the ball up.

And guys, after everything that’s happened with the Houston Astros cheating scandal, how can we trust Major League Baseball’s judgment here? I’m rooting for my girl Gina here. Let her back in Yankee Stadium and let her (back??) in Brett Gardner’s little racecar bed.

 

 

 

 

 


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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